I swear I didn't poop my pants...

So, this past weekend my aunt got married. We left our house about 11 a.m. on Saturday and took Parker to McDonald's here in Batesville for lunch. I am dressed in my very nice, expensive white pants (you know the kind you only wear to weddings or other formal events). So, after we played at McDonalds for a little while, we had to leave to get to the wedding on time.

We get to Jacksonville in time for the wedding. I see my brother and sister in law. We are standing in the back of the chapel talking. Parker is hanging all over his Uncle "an an" (dan dan) and Aunt Kekka (becca). It's almost time for the wedding so we take our seats. I see a few family members I haven't seen in a while as well as some of the people my mom works with.

I take the pew behind my brother and sister in law. (This is an important piece of info...so remember).

The wedding starts. The wedding ends. We all stand up as my aunt and her new husband walk down the aisle as newlyweds. I turn around and watch them leave the chapel. Remember that I was seated behind my brother and sister in law? So this means that when I turn around...they are now behind me.

I clap for the new couple as everyone else does, but now I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see my brother's face. He looks very surprised and nervous almost. He whispers something to me, but I can't hear what he's saying from all the commotion going on around me. Daniel, my brother, leans forward and tells me, "You have a brown spot on your pants." I laugh and tell him to quit playing around because it isn't funny. Then I look at my sister in law, and she says, "No, really. You do." I begin to take her seriously..because she wouldn't joke about something like that.

I say to her, "well how big is it?" She tells me it is rather large and shows me about how big it is. It is about the size of a medium size strawberry. I look back and forth between my brother and sister in law, to look for clues of them messing with me. I then ask him, "Where is it?" Daniel says, "It is right in the middle of your butt. It is in the worse spot imaginable." My sister in law validates him and says, "Yeah it is right in the middle."

I began to get a little panicked and embarrassed. Daniel says it looks like I pooped my pants. Becca agrees. I ask them what they think I should do. They suggest I go check it out in the mirror. So, partly because I wanted them to be joking with me, I went to the bathroom to look.

Oh. My. Lord.

There is a huge chunky brown spot right on my toosh, and not only on my toosh, but yes, it does indeed look like I pooped my pants.

I walk back out, with my big camera bag covering my rear-end. I find my mom. I show her. She laughs. I find Bradley. I show him. He laughs. They suggest I go back to the bathroom and scrape the faux poop off and try ot get it out with water. Good idea? I thought so. So off to the bathroom I go.

Bad Idea. Now it looks like I had diahrrea. And, it's bigger. But it isn't chunky anymore. It's just smeared.

I feel people are staring at me and laughing. Would I have rather had a chunky faux poop stain on my pants? Or would I rather have a diahrrea like stain on my pants? I don't know. I would rather have neither but that wasn't the situation I was in.

I was in a big dilemma. Do I change my pants and people wonder why I am wearing jeans to a wedding? Or, do I leave the poop stained pants on? It was voted by all (who were laughing at me by the way) for me to change pants.

I didn't poop my pants. I don't know what it was on my white expensive dress pants. I don't know where it came from. I think the good Lord has a great sense of humor. I think potty humor is funny and if you toot, you can bet I will laugh. From the stress of traveling with Parker and the rush of getting to the wedding, I think God knew I needed to laugh. So, Thank you God. But, next time, could the poop stain be on my leg?